Bert said he would do his best in all these. He asked his wife to remind him of them.

In the middle of all this, a small miracle occurred. He suddenly had a new problem. To his surprise, he stayed cool and dealt with it within a few hours.

What really happened here? The anxiety got dealt with because he had decided he would. The mere setting of the goal and the discussion changed his attitude to troubling incidents. The result was more problem-solving and less anxiety.

A year later Bert is still meeting his short term goal.

Setting goals that say what will be done by when, reshapes our thinking, our feelings and our actions.

We listen in to Richard’s talk with his angel.........

Angel:   Your goal for your kids is…..?

Richard:   Happiness

Angel:   You mean like you?

Richard:   Funny! - real happiness

Angel:   What then?

Richard:   Security, good home, good job, enough money, good health

Angel:   But you have all those and you’re not sure you’re happy

Richard:   I don’t want them to repeat my struggles

Angel:   What makes you think they won’t have tragedy, illness, heartbreak?

Richard:   I guess there’s no guarantee

Angel:   There’s no goal with better odds?

Richard:   You mean some kind of religion?

Angel:   Maybe, what did your parents give you?

Richard:   Good question!

Angel:   When you’re dying, how will you answer?

Richard:   Then, the answer would be family

Angel:   So why not now?

Richard:   You know how to get me in a corner

Angel:   It’s your corner, what’s next?

Richard:   You mean I need to do some family homework?

Angel:   You could start with your family goal

Richard:   Do hugs count?

Angel:   They’re great, but first write your family goal

Richard:   Like what?

Angel:   We will do family things together: meals with conversation, walks, games, quiet times, prayer, reading together

Richard:   And how do I know if there are working?

Angel:   They start asking for them!

This Covenant site is about choices - how to make good ones that work. Why do these choices seal our fate? Because we can choose well or our choices can create more problems for ourselves or others.

Not long ago, marriage was forever, the house was the family home and the job lasted until retirement. Now, we are in an option world where marriages average 15 years, we move every five years and we have at least 5 different jobs.

So, in our world, we continually face new options and choices. Many are very scary because we end up living with them.

We may want to correct a bad choice. In a sense that is good; in another sense it only gets us back to ground zero. However, if we go for a good option we have the hope things will be better. The moral of this is that setting new goals is much more constructive than always trying to solve problems.

In the spiritual realm, we face huge options. With Christianity or Islam a choice here reduces life’s options in a big way. On the other hand, if we choose to stay “free” we will have a life of ever increasing options. Some call that “New Age”.

So, we all face many options. The Covenant urges us to pick one, clear goal and have a friend help us do it. Achieving one clear goal clears the air for the other options we might want to consider.

We have spiritual backgrounds lasting at least 5,000 years. Now, however, things are different. The churches are confusing because they are confused. They can't agree on what Christianity is or Islam is. That doesn't help us. Besides, science is coming up with new answers every day. The growing spiritual interest is called New Age. It says we find our spirituality by searching till we find what works for us. Then there are all the other world religions with many followers.

In the meantime, what do we do, if anything? The philosophers remind us this is a risky game. What if we make the wrong choice? Science says start with one goal. The great philosopher Kierkegaard says purity of heart is to will one thing. So, the smart move may be to keep it simple and start with one goal. If this is right, then we don't have to listen to all those folks who think they know the right answer.

Here's a tip on the fundamentals of faith - there are five essentials: transformation, belief, prayer, belonging to a group and service to others. It doesn't matter where we start on any of these. One leads to another. For another tip on setting a goal, check out The New Hope Covenants website, pick a goal and get started!

Helen is burnt out - her time, energy and interests have been sucked out of her. School, work, family and travel are all speeding up - she's falling behind more every day. She's like the runner who hit the wall - it means disoriented, drained and nauseated.

It's all too much:

There’s more.................

There are lots of fixes:

Then there are lots of escapes:

Is there a goal in all this?

Why do we get lost in all this confusion and fragmentation? Is it because we've lost our sense of purpose?

If that is it, then one clear goal will work wonders. It will bring focus reducing all the distractions. When we do it, we succeed in cutting through the cycles of the rat race. One good step leads to more good steps.

Do simple steps for a personal goal, to help get you started see our suggested goals on The New Hope Covenants website.

The Christian churches have such a muddle of well intentioned goals, no wonder Jesus' goal has got lost.

He had a single purpose - get people to join God's club. He taught, healed and admonished. The biggest miracle was that his straggling gang of followers turned the world upside down.

How did He reach his goal?

What was His message:

If One Person can show these results with one goal, that should be encouraging for the rest of us. Check out The New Hope Covenants pages for help to do it.

We live in an IN world. We are caught IN traffic, a dumb relationship, a useless job, a bad habit, the rat race and the Internet

Ask a professional counselor and you see we all are IN a bunch of systems. Each has its’ own idea of what we are to be. There’s the family system, the work system, the traffic system, the internet system, the media system and the technology system. It’s the technology system we must watch most carefully - they’re being designed to shape our lives.

Result: there is no me! I’m a product in an assembly line and I can’t get off the belt. I’m a number but not a person!

The way out is simple, quick and it works! Pick one, immediate goal and someone who cares to follow you doing it.

Why is this so real? Because I decide what’s good for me and do it now. The thing is it doesn’t matter too much what I pick. As soon as I do it my life is different. I have changed and I’m on the road to a new life.

Why so simple? Because life is no longer normal. Instead it is so complex it is smothering. We strike a blow for freedom when WE decide our next step - not the system.

In the face of all this we must find our way out by GOING FOR THE GOAL. For help go to How Do I Do It page on The New Hope Covenants website, it will get you started.

In part I we looked at the legal and logical sides of our spiritual muddle. Now, we take another step trying to make sense of Christianity – our traditional religion.

Gandhi said Christianity is the greatest religion in the world and he would be one if he could see one. He is right. We have muddled up Christianity by too much talk, too many theories, too many quotations, and too much money. It is hard to find two Christians that can explain it – too much mumbo jumbo and very little logic.

It is logical for a person to decide if life is good or bad. That is a simple choice. It is also logical for that person to decide if love is at the center of life. That too is a simple choice. Let’s assume that this person opts for the sunny side and says “OK, I choose to believe that life is good, that it makes sense and that math, music and the genome are good evidence for a universe of order.”

Now what does that person do about Christianity? How does one see beyond the mumbo jumbo of today’s faith debates? One direct and easy way is to see what the Founder said and did. It is not difficult to glean from the New Testament the gist of Jesus and his mission. His rules for life are spelled out. They go against our nature and society but they are clear.

It also is not difficult to see Jesus’ mission. He used the word kingdom. His message about the kingdom is that His followers need to stick together, pray and go out to help others. That’s it!

One reason why Christianity is made so confusing is that we can’t stand the straight talk and clear direction Jesus has for us.

So, there it is. There is the legal road and the logical road. Everybody chooses his faith one way or another. His life then gets shaped by that faith.

There are two reasons why we are all in a muddle about faith. The one reason is legal; the other reason is logical.

On the legal side, why can one person change the rules for a whole community by some objection on a matter of faith? We have a legal system built as much on precedents as on laws. Precedents created by judges are used by lawyers to change our community. Statues come down, or are put up, based on this.

Why, in the first place, would one individual want to change the faith practices of a community? Would a person, confident in his own faith, be troubled by the faith practices of others? Or, would the person unsure about his faith resent the faith practices of others?

Here is where we need the help of logic.

What logically is faith, anyway? Isn’t it the answer a person makes to the biggest question “What’s it all about, anyway?”

That’s a logical question for which there can be a logical answer. A person selects his own answer to the big question. That is logic but not science. Science deals only with what is observable. The faith question requires a bigger answer, which comes from a choice of matters far beyond our senses.

So, we’re in a time when faith is an active issue. That is good. It is tough, however, when there seems to be so many different faith answers and practices. It is also tough to live in a time when the lesson of thousands of years of the big religions isn’t understood. These lessons are being ignored in the arrogant assumption that we know more about the big question of life than all those millions of believers before us.

So, we’re back with the big question “What’s it all about, anyway?” When we each focus on that choice, we will become more tolerant of others facing the same tough choice.

To help you focus on a choice check out the New Hope Covenants website. It will help you focus on your choice.

There is a big debate about evolution going on. The Creationists think God made things as they are and that's largely it! The Evolutionists say, with the biologists, that everything is unfolding. Then there are those who say everything changes but in cycles so that we always end up where we started.

Now we have another view where God and evolution work together. This is the view of Teilhard de Chardin, a French Jesuit Priest, Paleontologist, Philosopher, Biologist and author of The Phenomenon of Man, who sees the sweep of change in everything which shows how God is doing things.

Getting down to our practical lives, the big question is "Does what I do make any difference?" Asked another way, “Is there such a thing as progress?” We look at wars and say no. But we look at the murder rate over seven centuries and the rate has dropped 98%. We see people dying of horrible diseases but the miracle drugs are making most lives better.

Some believe in progress. Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, says the Bible tells us to "make every effort" at least 80 times. Bishop Stephen Neil says God made a world where there are things we can change, especially in us, and things we can't change.

The bottom line here is that life has meaning because we strive to meet goals. That means we need to be clear and specific about goals for our lives.

That is where the New Hope Covenant website can help. Check it out and see for yourself.

Look at some of the many decisions we are facing these days:

In some families, the kids (from infants up) are allowed to be in charge.

Rights movements battle for decision powers in education and jobs.

Groups and levels of government are at war on abortion and euthanasia decisions.

Women's rights groups want shifts in male/female decision powers.

Churches are tearing apart over decisions on homosexuality.

Corporations and governments vie for awesome powers on health care and pensions.

No wonder we have problems getting decisions right.

Where does all this leave the little guy? What say does he/she have in life? Maybe we should keep our own decisions to ourselves and not let others make them for us. Why should we let all these other folks do our thinking for us?

Maybe the best idea is to take one thing, decide and do it. That's what The New Hope Covenants website helps us with. Check it out, find a friend, pick a goal and, as Nike says, Just Do it!

The changes in life from genetics and technology, that we now see, are tiny compared with what's coming. Scientists, like Dr. Ray Kurzweil (inventor, entrepreneur and author of The Age of Intelligent Machines) predicts we will have cures for cancer and Aids within 20 years. Technology will be as inseparable from life as genetics.

Dr. Kurzweil is a prominent spokesman for science. He says all science progress depends upon four goal-setting truths:

Change occurs one-at-a-time

Growth happens midst increasing complexity of life

Changes take hold slowly as they are built in

Change and growth trump chaos

To get started, check out the New Hope Covenants website further, gather a friend and get a goal.

Alcoholism impacts every part of family life - work, health, finances, and relationships including children. Alcoholics Anonymous has a great record of successes. It is one of the few social remedies that can make that claim.

AA is built on their 12 step program. That starts with the first step - which is: “I can't get myself out of my mess”.

The AA story sounds familiar to most of us. I'm in a muddle, it's affecting my family and others and my best efforts aren't working. My problem is what do I do now? AA says: “Take the first step.”

Another illustration comes from an Atlanta study of multi-problem families and their high risk children. The study, sponsored by The Salvation Army, found British research that showed risks to children (crime, drugs, pregnancy, school drop-out) rose exponentially with the number of major family problems (abuse, unemployment, finance, housing, illness).

In the Atlanta case, an astute committee member pointed out that the reverse would also be true, i.e. deal with one major family problem and risks to children drop dramatically. Again, a case of doing one thing right.

AA says, “Admit you're in a mess". Christianity says, "Turn around". Common sense says, “Start by doing one thing right.”

“Take the First Step”, the lesson in all three cases. Since most of us are in some sort of muddle, which continues despite our best efforts, the message is – “Pick one good step now.”

If you need help starting, check out the New Hope Covenants website to help find YOUR first step here.

We all have two or three really close friends - folks we can level with. They may be family, work mates, club members or neighbors. When we get together the small talk is great - it reminds us that we are close and have things in common.

But, most of us also have something we know we have got to do. While small talk is great it can be a cover for not dealing with our thing. If we can put it off, we will put it off.

On the other hand, is there a safer place to level than with these friends? A couple of trusted friends or relatives are the safest places we have. Besides, they probably would be supportive if we hinted we had something we needed to deal with.

A Goal for the Group

The leaders of a small congregation met to discuss future directions. The consensus was that small groups should be a vital part. After much discussion about what group to start, it dawned on the leaders that they should do it first before expecting others to do it.

Then the question became “what do we do”? The opinions were so varied that no single idea did it. Then someone suggested that maybe what we need to start our own ‘seekers’ group. That word caught on. Then the question again became “what do we do”. The answer came through a simple goal:

“A group will meet four times over two months to find out what faith questions we have”.

Six of the leaders met. They found so many faith questions they kept going for nearly two years.

This is where the Covenants can help. We can help each other set a specific, practical goal - we don't have to tell the whole story to them all. We can select one person to share the goal and ask for help keeping track.

This is where Covenants got started. A small group of close friends decided each to set a personal goal. Without telling the group what the goal was, each asked another to be Sponsor. Then at the next meetings, they checked each other out. They found good starts on renewed attention to family, getting back to daily meditation in the face of a health scare and great lowering of stress.

Remember, Covenants are absolutely private and absolutely free. Your group can check it out in detail on The New Hope Covenants website. Try it. It will work for you.

Is there anyone who doesn’t see that life is getting quicker, more complex, crowded and uncertain? In the middle of our constant travel, endless choices and media bombardment, does anyone wonder why our lives are FRAGMENTED?

The cure for fragmentation is to find purpose. The way to find purpose is to set a specific goal. Goal setting is now common, but not always with the best results. There are two big reasons why - too much and too little.

The Too Much Problem

A child and family mental health center adopted goal setting in all its treatment services. In a year 1,000 goals could be set with the hundreds of families. The big question was - how do we know we’ve got the goals right? A study was done of all goals for all families for a time period. The study showed that less than 100 goals covered most of the family needs - the center could select from a much shorter list of goals.

The center also woke up to the big dumb goal mistake, i.e. “If one goal is good; two goals would be twice as good”. That’s dumb because more goals mean less focus - which loses the purpose of goals.

The Too Little Problem

When goal-setting became a key practice in the helping services, goals were set in large numbers - making that big dumb mistake. It got worse because folks set goals but couldn’t tell which goal got what results. Then it was discovered that goal setting is only a part of a bigger thing. That was when MBO (Management by Objectives) was replaced by MBR (Management by Results).

The big lesson was that goals are nearly useless without indicators of results. The challenge of goal setting became deciding what results we are after. When we decide on results, we can select what will tell us where we got them. At the same time, we pick a short term deadline to make things practical. The key results question is: “What do you want to see in six weeks?”

The skeptics say you can’t measure human relationships. The evaluators say “For a couple with marital problems, eye contact is not a bad indicator of results”. So, the art of indicator selection became part of the goal setting process.

Try it and see.

You can see how this works for you by checking out The New Hope Covenants website in detail.

Slavery comes in many forms:

In our world, whole nations are enslaved by dictators of various kinds. Terrorists want to enslave. Many nations have recently been freed from enslavement.

Freedom comes in many ways:

We have two different worlds - the ‘have’ and the ‘have-not’ nations. The ‘have’ nations claim freedom is their chief value. They also claim freedom brings peace.

But there is a big problem. The “free” nations sponsor wars in the “slaved” nations by shipping arms and soldiers. Besides, the free nations seem to have more problems at home than they can handle.

Why is this? What’s so good about freedom?

The sages have a different message for us (and it doesn’t include freedom):

Maybe freedom is not the best thing in the world and slavery not the worst. The sages tell us that our circumstances are less important than loving, helping and trusting.

This is a liberating message for both the “free” and “slave”.

This calls for very big decisions. What better use for the Covenant than this?

We seem to be in a big muddle about our spiritual nature. In times past, the major religions had the corner on the spiritual market. Now it is all up for grabs with the latest spirituality trend.

Our history doesn’t help much since religious history is cluttered with things best left. Yet there is a cloud of ancestors whose lives seemed centered in their faith. So it’s a puzzle.

We now can make the puzzle less by getting the old argument of science vs. religion behind us. They answer different questions. Science is focused on “What” and “How” whereas religion is focused on “Who” and “Why”. So all these efforts to prove or disprove God is just nonsense. Just as it is silly to try to use the Bible to tell us about our physical nature.

There is another side road we can (or should) avoid. Some spirituality evangelists want us to believe that we can decide for ourselves what spirituality works for us. Now, faith involves an individual’s decision. But, what kind of person ignores centuries of spiritual experience in making his own, personal and fateful decision? It has taken millions of people thousands of years to try to figure out what life’s all about. What chance has one person all on his own?

The great faiths are a better bet than this self-righteousness. Their common, central message is: “God is here to help us live well”.

Now comes the tough part for each person. Faith is a decision and therefore each of us gets to choose and live with the consequences.

There are some comforting thoughts for those facing the big decision:

- All of life and nature is based on elegant design.

- The genome is a sign of a master maker.

- Love is life’s most important thing.

- Jesus proclaimed God’s presence and lived to prove it.

The purpose of the Covenant is to encourage important decisions. Is there a more important one?

Our companion blog, eye-on-the-family.blogspot.com has just offered a holistic view of the family. Its point is that family members need a clear vision of their family to be truly members.

In this view, individuals don’t make families: families make the members.

As

Team members don’t make a team: the team makes the players – every coach knows.

As

Individuals don’t make a nation: a nation makes its people.

In all, the vision precedes the body which precedes the membership.

We have a hot illustration of this truth in the Middle East. That region has more than its share of hatred which is resulting in a reign of terror. Efforts to deal with individual nations will continue to fail because the region hasn’t decided what it is or what it stands for. Without the whole, the parts are adrift at sea.

Those wishing to aid the Middle East should call on it to declare itself and describe what help it needs. At that point, outsiders stand a good chance of making things better. Just now, the outside efforts, however intended, are making thinking worse.

In the Western view of freedom, the general assumption is that individual freedom is sacred. Such folks should check with their own spiritual sources. They will find that, in the Christian view, the Body is the most sacred, the members next.

So the family makes its members, the team its players, the church makes the faithful, the nations its people and our world, its nations.

The goals that we set for ourselves will be much more realistic once we have our vision and priorities right.

Covenant goal setting becomes helpful once we decide where we belong.

There is one sure thing about the devil. We all have a piece of him built into our genes. We were born with him. He’s here to stay. Freud said so. Einstein said so. The Bible says so.

The job of the devil in us is to mess up every good thing we try to do. So our job is how to deal with the bad dude. Here are three different ways:

One option is to enjoy him. He’s full of fun and thrills. Most of them easily become addictive. He seems to have the market on the things that are most exciting. So why not go with his flow?

We all know the consequences of giving in to his impulses. They look great, sound great but they end up changing us into slaves to the thing we chose. We easily can learn too late that the thrill wears off fast. Then we’re stuck doing our own thing which is usually a deep hole.

Our second option is to fight him. We will turn our back when he shows up. In a weak moment, we will grit our teeth. Or we can get so busy there’s not time for his ideas. We’ll do sports, meetings, study - all to keep ahead of him.

The problem here is that this guy knows our weak spots. And he never gives us. We end up exhausted from trying to do the right thing only to have him standing there grinning at us.

This option is for stoics who think they can outwit and outlast the nasty.

The third option is what Alcoholics Anonymous and the great religions of the world have learned. It is - get a bigger passion - get out of the nasty guy’s league.

In this option, we say we can’t win playing his games in his league. We will turn to a higher power and turn over control of our lives. Hundred of millions of folks have said that’s the only way.

This comes down to whom I belong to. If it is myself, we know the result - a deep hole. If it is endless busyness, the result is exhaustion. If it is the Lord, we give the old life away and get a new one. In that new one the dominant passion becomes love and that’s the one thing the bad guy can’t beat.

A Covenant is a great help for someone needing to make this life changing choice.

Why was this good man not a good team leader? He worked in an organization with an old fashioned top-down structure. He had read books and took workshops on team leadership. He wanted to lead by the new style. So what did he do?

He politely asked each member for views on each agenda item. Naturally he got a variety. In good style, he supported the views as they were voiced. Then he had a problem. How can he put all these different things together so that it makes sense and satisfies everyone? Obviously, he couldn’t. So, he reverted to style and made his own view the decision.

The team members left the meeting. Two hours later they went back to do what they were going to do anyway.

What didn’t our leader get about team leadership? Obviously, he didn’t give the team the job of finding good solutions. If he had done that, his job would have been very different. Instead of trying to play Solomon, he could have spent his time helping the members do their teamwork jobs - sharing and combining their views.

If he had done that, the team members would have left the meeting responsible for doing what the team agreed to.

This leader had a goal problem. His real goal was to extract solutions from the members. We could only call him a team leader if his goal had been to enable the team to make its decisions.

It comes down to getting the goal right. This is where The New Hope Covenants website can be helpful.

Rita is a single parent with three kids. She’s got such a muddle of problems. She doesn’t know what to do first.

She’s got some welfare income for her two preschoolers. She works at the coffee shop - a neighbor sits when she’s at work. Her youngest has asthma - she hasn’t found how to get the medicine. Her oldest is in grade two but is having temper tantrums in the classroom. A doctor prescribed medication for Rita’s depression.

Rita and her husband are separated. He visits but doesn’t provide support. They argue which upsets the children as well as themselves. She has tried to get a divorce with some support - her husband has a job but spends his money with his drinking pals.

This picture is all too familiar. Rita rushes from one problem to another, never gets ahead and doesn’t see how things are going to get any better. How can she handle the combination of money, medicines, school, husband/divorce and depression problems?

The answer: Not likely, at least not without some help.

What help does she need? There are helpers, somewhere, for each of her problems. But how can she get time for this help and how does she decide what comes first? Unless she can do one good thing at-a-time, she won’t get ahead.

There are two ways Rita can find some focus in her life. The first could come from friends or relatives. Does she have a couple of folks who care enough to hang in and help her decide what to do first and how to do it? This will require trust. Rita doesn’t need a gossip club - she needs serious attention and support.

The second way is for her to find a case manager. Who is that? It’s a professional from an agency who will help Rita get a support team from the various agencies already involved. The problem these agencies have is cooperating on a plan just for Rita. That’s called case management. The key to this is finding the right professional.

The right plan for Rita will help her get a focus on doing one good thing first. That’s the purpose of the New Hope Covenants website. Rita may not have a computer that works, but a good friend or library does.

Further, seeing others have similar problems let’s Rita know she is not alone. Blogs like eye-on-the-family.blogspot.com allow Rita and others share and link anonymously.

Family credit card debt is nearing five figures.

Most families can hardly make it with two jobs.

While adults are overworked, kids drown in unhealthy words, music and images.

In the old days, the family, church and school were on the same page. Kids were much clearer about themselves and family life was more stable. Now that all three are in a muddle, families and kids are less stable.

Another trio has taken over. Business has created our mall money world, governments try to give us the good life and the media pound us with thousands of 15 second bites every day.

The big question is how much control does the family still have? Or, do these power systems fragment the family by their impact on the members?

There are good community agencies that support families somewhat. Their problem is that they are fragmented too. They each have their own way of helping. They don’t usually take the time to see if one form of family help fits with another.

If there is new hope for the family, here are some clues:

• Families must find ways to make family decisions, together.
• Families can’t expect someone to bail them out.
• New community efforts are needed to bring help together for each family.

A good friend’s favorite saying is “Define the problem and you’re well on the way to the solution.”

We, Western Society has a problem that is so big, we can’t see it. To discover our problem we look at the symptoms, then ask Why?

So what are our symptoms? Well, we are busting to be successful. We’re obsessed by rights, freedoms and control. We are threatened by terrorists. Our pace is just below supersonic. We live in a world of extremes. On the highways, between different groups, in the media, in our debt - we’re extreme.

Now why are we going to extremes? Often, because we are bored or our expectations are unrealistic. But mostly because we don’t know where we are going. When pushed to the wall, to say what our lives are all about, we stutter and stammer and then fight back.

In the song, Alfie was asked “What’s It All About?”. If that’s the right question there are several answers: one is - ask the boss; another is - spend your life finding yourself; still another is - let your friends and loved ones work on this together.

There’s a problem with the third and obvious option here, we don’t want to share control of our lives and that’s why we’re left stumbling on our own.

The classical solution to our problem: trust your dear friends in your family or group; be real with them; tell them the good and the bad; let them give you their combined wisdom which is the best you’ll ever get.

Then, trust them and go make one good, clear decision and let someone help you to keep it.

Empowerment is a big deal these days. Everyone wants to be empowered. Why? - because we feel powerless in our world where money, governments, technology, the media and the big guys, rule.

There are folks walking around who say there is no ultimate source of power - there is no god. Mostly, however, Christians and non-Christians believe there is a God but say they need their own source of power. They can get lots of help trying to convince themselves that finding their inner selves reveals their own source of power. This is the current way in the Western world - the motto is Rights and Freedom. This is self-empowerment.

Disney, however disagrees. Over the entrance to Disney world is a sign with our title - Teamwork - The Ultimate Source of Power. Disney has it right - they just don't know why. They know that teams do things impossible for individuals. Experience tells them that. They just don't get the connection with God, the Ultimate Source of Power. These days, even most Christians are confused about this.

Ask 10 Christians what they believe - you get 10 different answers - besides the standard line that everybody knows. Press them hard enough and you find they resent you asking because faith is personal. You also find that they think they are the best judge of what to believe and the right way for themselves. Another name for this is designer faith. Yet another name is New Age.

So, what is the real story about empowerment and teamwork. The answer, still good after 2,000 years, is found in bible language which is hard to understand and in church doctrines that are nearly impossible to understand.

So, in language that Disney understands, we are born powerless, in our teens we try to get it and later we settle for something much less. The other way is to say - OK I'm powerless, I'll find a group that has power. Teams who believe their group is led by God feel they know the power source. To join such a group, they merely have to say " I'm powerless, likely to screw up and I want to be with others who believe God cares enough to help" - That is what is meant by conversion.

In Christian teams, conversion is the way in, but not the way. The way to the power source is the team that asks how do we help each other follow the lifestyle demonstrated by Jesus. That is a lifelong learning process that means personal transformation, finding the source of power for oneself and others. This is what is meant by salvation.

So, empowerment is found in lifelong teamwork with folks who believe God is with them. In the team, their lives are reshaped - they see power as the privilege of helping others. They also see how futile most other power searches are.

In the West there are certainly over a million counselors. They come with very different theories of how to help. They come from many different professions. And there's a lot who come from no particular profession.

The first problem is that research on counseling is not very encouraging. Many studies simply say folks do just as well on their own as with a counselor. The second problem is that many counselors advise based on their own personal experience which may not apply to others. The third problem is how to tell if the counselor is legitimate and moral. This is not to say that there are not some excellent counselors - the problem is how to know for sure.

The even bigger problem is that we are spending billions on counseling - mostly by our health care, education and social service tax dollars plus our donations to churches and charities. It is hard to see how we can justify all this spending based on uncertain results.

Then there is money. Some counselors live in million dollar homes, have a second home or yacht or both. You need to get, up-front, the fee schedule in writing. You need regular statements. If you are in a crisis, involve a friend with a cool business head. In dealing with lawyers insist they use English.

On the constructive side, what do we know? We know that the person of the counselor is key - does he/she listen, care and respond to other's real needs? Dialogue with the skillful, right person is therapeutic.

We also know that we learn and grow in small, short-term steps given a specific goal and someone helping us keep on track. Check out the covenant here.

So what do we do? If we need help, we need help and worrying all on our own usually doesn't do it. So we start checking out counselors - with their clients, friends and enemies. Then we go try some. It's smart to make an appointment - say what you want and see what you get. First impressions are usually very important.

After all that, start and don't dally - delay is usually a bad idea. If it starts to work for you - fine. If not, don't waste your and their time - there's lots more to choose from.

Finally, counseling is not a substitute for living. If you don't have at least one good trusted friend go make one before you start down the counseling road.

Over the past few decades, the main Christian denominations seem, successfully, to have made themselves irrelevant. Congregational leaders are so busy dealing with the roof, old words, the choir, the budget, old ideas, the committee, etc. there's little time for the big things. Except, of course, the issues like gay rights and abortion where they are exhausting themselves on suicidal missions.

All this accounts for the death of the churches that has swept Europe, turned Canada officially into a godless nation and is working its way down to challenge the U.S. Bible belt. While there are pockets of vital Christian community, our 18 to 45 age groups ignore the churches and their messages.

This is weird given the 2,000 year impact of Christianity and the single most influential Person of our history. Christianity is supposed to bring new life and hope to people especially those who are somehow, lost. Where has the Lord's spark gone?

Let's try quotes from a great Christian leader, Bishop Stephen Neill.:

"The highest spiritual experience in this life is not rapt contemplation of the divine, but the rendering of disinterested service to the poorest, the lowliest and the lost."

Translated: The Christian life is not about getting a spiritual high; it is getting way down low with our troubled neighbour.

"The Christian church in its early days survived because it was a fellowship of peculiar intensity and mutual loyalty"

Translated: Christian churches need to be open, deeply personal, loving, safe and completely trustworthy

Enough said? Let's try a quote from the great Canadian Christian leader, Jean Vanier:

“As we experience community as a body in which we have been called by Jesus to belong to each other, we discover that we are responsible for each other's growth and for the development of each others' gifts. We have the power to call forth the gifts of others or to crush them."

And: "It is Jesus who has called us to this covenant with the poor, our brothers and sisters."

Translated: The missing link? - The Christian bottom line! - The intimate community of Jesus, where folks find God and each other.